Be Cool

Have you always wanted to be the cool guy, who always seems to do the right thing? Or are you yearning to be the cool girl, who flows through life with ease and grace? If you think about all the people who you think of as cool, you'll find that they have several characteristics in common: they're all confident, unique, and on friendly terms with everyone. There's no reason you can't be like that yourself. There is really no true universal definition on how to be cool, but here are some guidelines to get you started.

Self-Awareness

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   Be aware of how others will perceive you. There's a difference in letting people's judgments affect your self esteem, and being aware of how you come off to others. What you are really doing is being aware of how you look from another person's perspective. In terms of physical appearance: beware of food getting stuck in your teeth, bad breath, body odor, toilet paper stuck to your shoe, etc. In terms of composure; be smiley, stand/sit up straight (it makes you look and feel more confident), smile generously, be polite and considerate, etc. Definitely be aware of your body language at all times; analyzing body language can be a useful tool in knowing how to present yourself.
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   Don't be needy. Remember cool people are not needy or desperate, unwaveringly. Instead try to solve problems yourself. If you are not needy people will want to help you or will ask for your help. This quality attracts people. Neediness is a big turn off dont do it or end of story.

Be Yourself

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   Be yourself. It will be something that other people will look up to. You are unique, and you don't need to join a clique. Make your own friendships. Being cool is being yourself in an outgoing way, even if you are quiet but not sullen and passive/aggressive. Don't try to be like anyone else. Live life for who you are. Don't lose sight of yourself or your morals. Being cool isn't about changing who you are, its about being confident enough to let people see how awesome you really are.
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   Relax. Seriously. Constantly telling yourself that you're crap at socializing creates anxieties that play on your mind the next time you converse with someone. You then focus on said anxieties, and the whole thing becomes one big cycle of self-fulfillment.^[1]
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   Practice self disclosure. The more you disclose yourself the better you understand yourself. Self-disclosure is both the conscious and subconscious act of revealing more about oneself to others. This may include, but is not limited to, thoughts,feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, dreams as well as one's likes, dislikes, and favorites.
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   Remember that people are your equals. Even a group of people is equal to you. If you're talking to a potential employer, a group of wealthy donors, a child, a stranger, the president of the United States, or an attractive guy or girl, for example, remember they are neither better than you or worse than you are. They should be treated as you should be treated. Be respectful of other people, but expect that they will accept you as such. When someone is disrespectful to you, ignore them until they figure it out. Not as if you didn't hear your antagonist, but casually and conversationally disregard their remarks. There is a reason that they didn't show respect towards you or the person didn't do what you asked of them. It may be because they are unhappy, someone hurt them recently, you were disrespectful towards them, or because they were never taught the correct way to act around people. But always know it is for a reason, be willing to find out what the reason is as long as you want them to respect you.